Blame it on my 14 year-old boy sense of humour, but I absolutely adore sexual innuendos!
I have been in the customer service industry for over eight years, so I have come in contact with just about every so-called funny guy or gal that is out there. Working in an ice cream shop, comments about Popeye, having one muscular arm, and questions about whether or not my one arm is getting tired, were daily occurrences. Working in restaurants, there were always comments being made about my physical appearance. Finally, in coffee shops, people made jokes about certain roasts, foam consistency, and I’m sure you get the picture. So far, the sexuality in my time in the service industry is exacerbating with time, and coming from alternate directions.
(I use a word with a negative connotation, like “exacerbate”, because I acknowledge that sexuality in the service industry is most often a product of sexual harassment).
I argue that the service industry is crawling with sexuality, both hidden and obvious. People, including myself, are obsessed with sex and sexuality. So much so, that they bring it into everyday conversation without even noticing. Some of the information below is some that could only be understood by those in the industry, but I’ll try my best to explain. Furthermore, some of these examples are industry secrets, of which I am SPILLING THE BEANS!
One of the most obvious sex-present sphere in the service industry, aside from rub n’ tugs and strip clubs, is in the restaurant industry. If restaurants were a celebrity, they’d be Holly Madison; they’re overtly sexy for the right price, leaving little to imagination. Sexual comments directed at me during my time in restaurants were 70% sourced from my superiors, and 30% sourced from customers. For example, dress code consisted of short shirts, 4-6 inch heels, and boobie shirts. Cleavage was also a major asset, so girls plumped up their B cups to look like C cups, and lowered those v-necks for the love of money! It was due to this dress code, that customers felt obligated to comment. Now that I think about it, there aren’t really many sexual innuendos in restaurants after all… Rather, there is just, flat out, SEX. Like the reality television star and playmate, sexuality in restaurants is more problematic than funny, and it is never interesting for more than 10 minutes. So, cut to commercial break!
Now, unlike the restaurant industry, which proves to be full of sexuality with a simple glance, coffee shops are JUST as sexual, but less obvious. Coffee shops are like the Natalie Portman of the service industry; they are super sexy, yet keep their sexuality to themselves in attempts to make people not notice it, but PEOPLE NOTICE!
When Starbucks came out with their Blonde Roast coffee, I knew right away what was coming (I’m a blonde, if you didn’t know). I quickly realized, that this new Blonde Roast, paired with Starbucks’ cup sizes, opened up a whole new can of worms.
Can I get a short blonde?
Can I get a tall blonde, please?
And, low and behold, it was always the pervy old men that felt the need to add a smirk or even a wink. Gross.
When it comes to the debit machine, there are many sexual innuendos. Who would have thought that an electronic payment system could behold sexuality? Apparently a lot of people!
Strip down, facing me, please!
My personal favourite!
Just stick it in the bottom.
Another one that makes me giggle. I’ll be the first to admit that my sense of humour is slightly immature.
A sexual innuendo that is unique to me occurred when I was first hired at a Vancouver Starbucks. Awkward Ally, with the inability to be flirty, asked for the order of a young, good looking, regular. He ordered oatmeal, and, bending to grab him a utensil, I asked:
Now, this wouldn’t have been so embarrassing if I had just left it at that. Unfortunately, I can be painfully awkward, and I added,
Uh… Um… Uh… I mean… Would you like…a spoon?
At this point, my face was tomato-red. Needless to say, I brought that one on myself. How embarrassing.